Procrastinating knowingly
"Just one more episode," she whispered, aware the document was waiting. Hours later, she said, "It knows I'm not coming back, right?"
"Just one more episode," she whispered, aware the document was waiting. Hours later, she said, "It knows I'm not coming back, right?"
"Why do you always do it that way?" she asked. "That's how it's always been done," he replied. "But why was it always done like that?" she pressed. "Uh, because... that's the rule, I guess." "
"Should I go ahead with the new strategy?" he asked. "Maybe," she responded. "It's like a solid 6/10." He frowned, "But do you think it'll boost our metrics significantly?" "Could be," she replied with a
"How dare they price this useful thing so perfectly? It's like they know it's exactly what I need and priced it just to torture me!"
"I'm sorry, but I can’t..." "No, stop," he stuttered, his resolve melting. "It's too much.” "Fine, take whatever you want, just... cut it out with the eyes!"
"Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, you lack humility?" she asked. "Me? Lack humility?" he scoffed. "I'm the most humblest person that's ever existed. I'm practically the God of modesty."
"I've got this. Every question they could possibly throw at me, I've got a bulletproof answer ready to go. Stick to the script, stay on message. I’m primed, polished, and ready to shine." “So, instead of diving into the usual questions, I’d
"Tonight I sleep at 9," he declared with a yawn, fully intending to follow through. But as midnight rolled around, there he was, still wide awake, finding out the answer to a very important question, "Can goats understand each other when they bleat, or is it just
"Oh, you are simply the sun in our office solar system—the rest of us merely orbit your brilliance!" "You know this won’t help you, right?" Undeterred, he continued, "Absolutely, but if I don't praise the eighth wonder of the corporate world,
"Option A," the stranger explained, "is the slow and steady path. You press this button, and you'll earn a small but consistent return on your investment." He nodded, his eyes already fixated on the second button. "And Option B?" he asked, a
Section 1: Context you already have Figure 1: Impressive colors, dubious relevance Section 2: Style over substance Footnote: Very tiny font so you don't even attempt it
"Hi, I'm here to drag out the small talk to avoid the case study as long as possible," he says. "Alright, I'll play along so I don't seem rude," she replies. "Really appreciate it. How's your coffee?
"Check. Done. Next!" "Hell yes, todo list? More like todo-done list!" He adds 'Check off checking things off' to the list. He checks it off. "Take that, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"Hello, I'm calling to discuss the reference for the candidate who recently interviewed with us." "Ah, yes. He told me you'd call. Said to paint him in bold, brilliant colors." "And how would you describe his work ethic?" "He
She hastily hit send and noticed a typo, thinking, "Meh, that typo won't matter." He received it and obsessed, "What does it mean? Is it a hidden message? A test of my attention to detail? Maybe it's an acronym! Or a clever reference
"Can you tell me about your—" the interviewer started. "I'm a highly motivated self-starter," the candidate blurted out. "Okay, but what about your—" "I have a proven track record of success." "Right, but how do you handle—" "
"So, how's the new job going? Are they paying you well?" "Let's just say I can afford the car, but not the garage to park it in.." "What?" "Oh, you know, I can get the iPhone, but not the
click click click click click click "I can't take this heat anymore!" click click "I'm going to freeze to death!" click click click click click
"What's the answer?" "Yes." "That's it?" "Yes." "No, bring me a probability matrix. I have to earn my paycheck."
"I can't sleep." "Why?" "I’m too tired."
"I'm exhausted," he sighed. His manager burst in, "Great news! We're expanding into a new market! Who wants to lead the project?" His hand shot up, "I'll do it!"
What if I fail miserably? I don't think I can do this. Wait, an email. 'Your proposal is innovative and exactly what we need.' Wow. I've got this! I'm unstoppable, a total genius!
"Please choose the color for the new company t-shirts," their boss said before leaving. "If we choose red, it could evoke passion," he said, banging the table. "But red means danger too," she countered. ... ... ... "What if aliens invade during the t-shirt launch?"
"Help. Email. Now," the human growled. "Email, a marvel of human ingenuity, allows communication across-" "JUST WRITE THE DAMN EMAIL!"
“We can offer $5 million," they said. "I need $10 million," he pleaded, tears welling up. "Every dollar is the difference between my children eating or starving." "$6 million is really all we can do," they responded. "$9 million, I'm
"Hey, everyone! The boss is awake!" someone shouted across the office. "Not again," a voice muttered. "I thought we had another decade before this happened." "Apparently not," came a reply. "Better get our reports ready."
"I can do better than that," he thought, eyeing the successful founder on stage. But the weekend was almost over, and it was time to organize his office shirts by color and fabric.
"You just won the Nobel Prize!" "Probably a mistake." "You cured cancer!" "A fluke." "You're levitating!" "Random quantum fluctuations." "You're too humble." "Others are humbler, I'm sure."
"We'll give you a raise and more vacation," the boss said. "That's it?" "Better health benefits, too," the boss added. "That's it?" "A company car and expense account," the boss offered. "That'
"We've lost sight of our goals and our unity," the boss announced after waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Eye rolls and sighs filled the room. "Oh, here we go again," someone muttered under their breath. "Another load of BS
"Walk a mile in my shoes," she said. "Then talk." "Try running a marathon in mine first, then talk," he retorted. "Climb a mountain in high heels. Then talk." "Swim across an ocean in cement shoes. Then talk."
"Alright, listen up everyone! I've got an incredible idea that will take our company to the top!" "Oh, hell yeah! What he said!" "Right... so, about the implementation timeline..." "We'll crush it!" "And what about the budget.